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| yeah sure i like make up but there are more important things then looking good. i believe that staying true to waht you love is very important. change is ok, but not when you do it for someone else, or for the wrong reasons. i think the concept of anarchy is stupid. if you disagree i would gladly tell you my reasons for thinking this way, and i will change your mind. im very interested in death. i love going to graveyards. every dead body in the ground has a story behind it, i wish i could know everyones story. whast even better is knowing that some of those ppl were murdered, or there death was a mystery. that makes the stories even more interesting. my dream is to go to a big graveyard on a foggy night were theres a full moon and lay on a grave. this probably sounds creepy to you, i mean geez it even sounds creepy to me, but all i know is that i want to do it really bad. im pretty sure i believe in ghosts, although i have never seen one. i believe in god, and im a pretty "hardcore" christian. there are many things about the religion that are doubtfull in my mind, but from everything ive heard i really do believe in it. even if your not a christian you should believe in something. some day i want to write a book. i don;t know what it will be about, but i want it to make a difference is peoples lives. i guess tahts another goal in my life. i have always wanted to make a difference in atleast one persons life. i don;t know if i have or not, but i do try. if i could ever save a person from destruction, death, sadness, misery, i would do it in a heartbeat. i like to help people. sometimes it blows up in my face, but atleast i know that i tried. im very interested in jfk's death. i know a lot about it, and someday i hope to find out the truth. don;t waste your time looking for the meaning of life becuase no one can ever be right about it. maybe one day god got bored and made earth. maybe our meaning is far deeper then that, but we'll all find out when we die so don;t waste your life wondering. wasting life is another thing im against. for example i used to be really scared that a robber would come in my house. i guess you could say i was paranoid. then one day i told myself, this is stupid, no robbers have come in and all the time i spent worrying was for nothing. thats when i decided to not worry about it unless it happens. once it hits you, thats the time to worry about it, not when you can be doing much beter things. i think talking out loud really can help a person. actually i think it can help a person from going crazy. when i feel alone or sad i think out loud. it makes me feel like im getting my feelings out and they are important. it always helps to tlak to some one about your problems too. if your friends really care about you then they WANT to hear your problems. i love when peopel come to me wiht there problems becuase i like to help them. even if they just want to vent i always like hearing about it. it reminds me that everyone has bad times in there lives and im not the only one. it also gives me impressons about the other person's life. | | |
| - - hm well its been almost a year since i wrote in here, 20 more days of 9th grade... holy shit. well all i know is that the story is still amazing and its all true. semi is tomarrow, hopefully i can sleep over at maura's house.
new hair
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| i still don't understand y some ppl want to be sad. im getting kind of sick of all this emo also. as for today, i like listening to happy music. maybe not exactly happy, but anything is better then sad right now. | | |
| about a week ago, my mom told me something, and it was seriously the happiest moment of my life. she told me we were going back to treesdale. i was so happy i cried. it was like all those nights crying myself to sleep, and being so sad an depressed everytime i thought about my country club this whole school year, was all for nothing. i went into fucking depression cuz of all that, just to find out i had nothing to worry about the whole time. but im not even going to think about that right now. im 2 happy. when i went back to the pool with my mom we found out that jess was the manager now, and EVERYONE came back. i couldn't believe it. i never thought i was going to see jess, mikey, tom, greg, or dustin agian. AND ALL THE SNACKSHACKERS WEHRE THERE 2! it was amazing. so far i've seen jessie gabby alex trey and joey, WHO IS MY BOYFRIEND AGIAN! i havn't gotten a chance to see anybody else yet because ive been grounded from running away from orchard hill with kc and vince. but today is the last day im grounded, so i think tomarrow im either going to the pool all day or having some people over. AHH I SAW TANNER 2! tanner, o man. luckily i think he forgot how he used to be scared of me and alex. this summer has been really different so far. usually i just kind of forget about a lot of my friends from na over the summer, but ive really been "staying in touch" with them so far. all i know is that THIS SUMMER IS GONNA BE FUCKING AWESOME WITH ROBERTA!  i miss her, i mean i havn't seen her for A WHOLE WEEK!  I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MY LEENY BEENY! | | |
| i feel like going out on the roof and listening to music. iv been doing that a lot lately.
i really hope that next year im still friends with the people that im friends with right now. im scared tho, cuz theres going to be so many ppl. and its gonna be really different.
i just got back from best buy. i got the bleeding through cd. | | |
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